


Void

by Amber_Flicker, asherahduan, Bad Wolfe (BadWolfe)



Series: Barry Allen & Harrison Wells [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Age Difference, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe, Genetic Engineering, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Translation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-05-28 20:57:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6344890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amber_Flicker/pseuds/Amber_Flicker, https://archiveofourown.org/users/asherahduan/pseuds/asherahduan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadWolfe/pseuds/Bad%20Wolfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eobard should not exist any more. No one can see him except for Harrison Wells from Earth 2.<br/>Eobard tells Harry that he would like to help him become the Reverse Flash, to help Barry defeat Zoom... But he can tell that Eobard is planning for something bigger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eobard Thawne

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Thank you very much for opening this story. This work is fully completed in Chinese. I am translating it into English slowly. Any comment/advise is highly appreciated.  
> The Chinese version can be found here:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/5448425/chapters/12593525

Chapter 1 Eobard Thawne

That first night after Barry was defeated by Zoom, he stays by his side, sitting in the wheelchair that used to belong to Harrison Wells, Eobard Thawne.

The young man laying in front of him, he’s so pale. Eyes closed, chest rising and falling with each slow breath. He’s peaceful in sleep, dreaming that, when he wakes, everything would be right again. Such and naïve and sweet dream. Harry sniffs; he has lost that ability, no longer able dream and hope, not since Zoom had taken his family from him.

He glances as the Electrocardiogram. No, one night is far too short for everything to be put to rights. What awaits Barry in the morning is terrible news, and for anyone but the Flash himself, likely life changing. Spinal damage.

He knows this has changed things. The passion, confidence, optimism and courage that pushed Barry to run towards danger without hesitation, he saw all of those in the younger man’s eyes. But after tonight, after Zoom, those were gone. That bright light was gone from his eyes, replaced by defeat. Compared to that loss, the collapse of Barry’s faith in him is nothing worth mentioning.

And it is all his fault, all because of his recklessness and impatience. Because, despite knowing better than anyone, he had underestimated Zoom.

He is responsible for Barry’s injuries, just as he is undeniably responsible for the creation of Zoom and all of the other meta-humans from his Earth. At this point, denying that fact will only make things worse.

Things could have been different, but it’s too late now. Self-reproach won’t help anyone, he tells himself, he needs to focus on a new way to defeat Zoom. He suddenly recalls Jesse’s phone, left behind in the rubble after Zoom’s attack. He can’t focus, his faze pulled back to the young man’s face.

He needs to leave. His presence on this Earth has done nothing but harm. He should go back to his Earth. Surely with access to the more advanced technology of his world, he’ll have a better chance of defeating Zoom.

“If you really had a chance of defeating Zoom on your own, you would have found it by now.” A voice, sounding unnervingly like his own, echoes through the otherwise silent room.

Looking away from Barry, he sees a figure, pale and translucent, standing on the other side of the bed. He jumps up from the wheelchair, picking up the gun which rarely leaves his side.

“Get away from him!” Harry orders.

The figure looks up, seemingly confused before smiling widely. “Hello Dr. Wells.”

The face is his own. The voice is his too, but the look in those eyes…

He aims his gun threateningly, “I said get away from him, now!”

The figure raises its hands in a gesture of surrender, stepping back far enough to keep an eye on both him and Barry at the same time. “I promise I won’t hurt you, or Barry. You can relax.” 

“I somehow doubt that.” His gun is still aimed and ready. “Shall I call you Eobard Thawne, or perhaps you prefer Harrison Wells now, or maybe Barry’s arch-nemesis, Reverse Flash? Forgive me for being blunt, but weren’t you erased from the timeline?”

The figure, Thawne, tilts his head, a move he’s seen before in the mirror. “My name will always be Eobard Thawne, no matter the body I wear, please call me Eobard. And no,If I never existed, then I know from the history of my own timeline that Flash would never have been created in 2014. If I have truly been killed by Eddie Thawne’s suicide, then you would expect that to be undone: however, as we can plainly see my modifications to history are still in place. Just like the changes to history I initiated, I live on in this new world, though I don’t know why I have been consigned to life as a shade -- imperceptible to all the people of this timeline.”

Harry doesn’t say anything, keeping an alert eye on the speedster. Another smile creeps across Thawne’s face as he nods towards the gun. “I’m pretty sure that gun is useless against me. My backing up was simply a courtesy to you and Barry. I wish no harm to you or Barry. In fact, I’ve been wandering STAR labs for several months, with none the wiser until now. You’re the first person to see or hear me. It would seem there is something connecting us.”

He’s heard many times from the others, how Thawne was identical in appearance to him, but this is the first time he truly accepts it. It’s strange, staring into a face, the same as his own, and yet, for all the similarities, there is something different, more lively and emotive. He hadn’t worn such a relaxed, pleasant expression in a long time. There was something bitterly humorous about that.

Harry is silent for another moment, before relaxing his stance and holstering the gun. “What do you want?”

Rather than answering the question, Thawne looks back down at the still peacefully sleeping Barry. “Always the hero, isn’t he? Always putting the lives of others before his own in a crisis. Always there to help when they need him to stand for them. That is the way of the hero.”

“Is there a point to this?” Harry absently tries to rub the tiredness from his eyes. “You almost sound like you admire him.”

“No.” Thawne raises his head and looks into Harry’ eyes. “I am explaining the differences between us. I used to hate Barry. I hated him so much that I poured my anger that I couldn’t kill him onto other innocent people. I killed his mother, and I lost my way home. I dedicated the next fifteen years to creating the Flash so I could use him to return to my time. But you, the Harrison Wells from another Earth, sought to use Barry to eliminate Zoom. After one single failure, you are already admitting defeat, regretting the actions that have caused harm to others.”

Harry frowns, his eyes narrow dangerously, waiting for Thawne to continue.

Eobard looks at him, speaking in a softer voice, almost a whisper. “Barry is a hero; he will always stand up for others. I’m a cold-blooded killer, determined till the very last, even when every other part of me tells me to stop. And you, you are just a man. An ordinary guilt ridden man who doesn’t want to see others suffer for your own mistakes.

Harry is puzzled. Despite being one of the most intelligent people of both this Earth and his own, he still can’t understand the purpose behind what Thawne is saying. From everything he’s heard, he knows the Reverse Flash is by no means a man inclined to meaningless dialogue. 

He stares at Thawne for several seconds, before finally giving up deducing the meaning behind Thawne’s words. With an inquiring eyebrow raised he asks again, “What do you want?”

“I need you to help Barry. I need your help to defeat Zoom.” Thawne quickly looks away from Harry, back down to Barry. He pauses for a moment, then finally looks back at Harry with determination. “I need you to become the Reverse-Flash.”

“That’s impossible.” Harry refuses without hesitation. He turns away and heads towards the exit. “I’m leaving. I want to go back to my world. There’s nothing I can do to stop Zoom here.”

“That’s not the truth.” Thawne’s raised voice reaching out to him, before dropping back down. “You know, the chance of defeating Zoom is much better with two speedsters working together rather than trying to defeat him on your own.”

At the sincerity in Thawne’s voice, it strikes Harry. He turns back to face Thawne again, speaking with absolute certainty. “You care about Barry!”

“I have been watching over him,” Thawne replies softly, “I created him, I taught him. As much as I hated him, I loved him too. Yes, I care about him.”

Harry turns and walks toward the door, waving goodbye. “You should be glad he can’t see you. I’m sure the last person he’ll want to see when he wakes up is you.” A vindictive pleasure fills in some of the bottomless void in his heart as he lashes out at Thawne, but it’s gone as soon as the words leave his mouth.

He knows he’s made the right decision. As reluctant as he is to leave, he must. Just like Thawne said, he’s just a man, and he won’t let these people suffer for his mistakes.


	2. This is not your fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one has been redone by badwolfe
> 
> The following chapters will be Beta read by amber_flicker and Bad Wolfe(BadWolfe)

Dr. Wells just stands right behind the door. He sees Barry hobble forward with his crutches, step by step. 

He does not feel it was the right moment to intrude, so he watches Barry almost fall over. Joe steps forward and catches Barry before he hits the floor. Joe leads him to Eobard's wheelchair.

Dr. Wells sees Barry sit down heavily, his shoulder is dropping. He lies on the wheel chair and looks up at his own uniform. It was a weary look. Dr. Wells hears Barry ask: “What are we going to do about Zoom?”

His feels something within him stir. The void due to his loss of his family starts aching. He made a mistake, and the consequence of his mistakes cost this young man sitting on the wheel chair. He wants to make up. 

This was never Barry’s war. This is a battle between Dr. Wells and Zoom. He must go back for the sake of these innocent Children. 

This is the time he decides to walk in, asking Cisco loudly if he can use the speed cannon downstairs. Barry questions why. He looks straight into Barry’s emerald coloured eyes, and says, “Because Barry, it’s time to go home.” He speaks the word home with warmth from his heart, as if his family is still waiting for him in another earth... not just cold ruins. He even manages to pull up a smile at the end of the his sentence. 

There is confusion, suspicion, doubt in Barry’s eyes, but Barry does not object his proposal. In fact Barry remains silent through the rest of the conversation. Until Dr. Wells walks out of the door, he hears words exchanged. He can't help listening. "Let him go if he insists. ” he senses depression from Barry's voice. 

Harry then realises that Barry remained quiet because he thought he'd disappointed him, therefore Dr. Wells decided to leave.

When Dr. Wells turns into the corner, he sees that shadow again- Eobard Thawne. He is not surprised to see him at all.

Eobard has one hand supporting his body on the wall, standing in front of Dr. Wells, waiting for him. Eobard frowns, turns his body to reveal his face to Dr. Wells with a worried expression: "You do not have plans."

Dr. Wells decides to ignore Eobard and keep moving forward. As he passes, he hears a whisper. "What cost are you willing pay to save your daughter?”

He notices Eobard's voice and his voice are completely different. Eobard's voice is low and soft, cadence and words carefully picked, always calm and quiet. And Harry's voice is dry and cold, like a fully drawn bow, filled with tension. Dr. Wells suddenly stands still, turning to stare darkly at Eobard. "How dare you ask me that?" He roars.

Eobard seems to be silently amused. The anger, the attitude, it doesn't bother him at all.

Eobard speaks, "Please allow me to you something. This might be inspiring. " Without waiting for the response from Wells, he proceeds to walk opposite direction. Harry stares at him disappearing around the corner. He sighs and finally decides to follow.

Wells finds himself standing in front of a stone wall. Eobard makes some space for Wells, beckons him to press his hand to somewhere.

The stone walls open from side to side in front of them. A white room is revealed. 

He follows Eobard, entering the room.

"This was my secret base. I kept my suit, my AI here. I could only let down my camouflage of Harrison Wells here, stand up and become Eobard Thawne ."  
Eobard holds his hands behind his back and gazes up at the room. He takes a few steps across the room before he turns around, looking at Dr Wells with a pair of piercing blue eyes. "I have never told Barry how I became the Reverse-Flash." He says gently.

The secret obviously draws the attention from Dr. Wells, Eobard continues: "In my time, there is a museum of The Flash. I love the Flash so much; I beat other candidates and finally won the position of the Curator of the Flash Museum. No one knows better than me about The Flash. In order to understand The Flash better, I studied the speed force. Luckily, I am a genius in the time I come from. "

He speaks his story with a proud smile: "One day, I finally discovered the secret of the Speed Force. The Flash was gifted with natural speed force, and that can’t be replicated. But by chance, I got genius suits that used to belong to The Flash. I gathered enough tachyon from it. Since then I've managed to harvest his speed. Historically, once I became the Flash. And becoming the Reverse-Flash is a really long story; I do not think you will be interested. "

Dr. Wells frowns. This does not make sense. This man travelled from future, to this time to kill Barry. He has to point out there is a very obvious logical flaw in his story: “So, you should know that you can not kill Barry? Without Barry, you cannot collect tachyon particles. If you'd killed Barry, you'd never have the super speed to flash back to the past? "

Eobard sighs and buries his face in his hands. He almost whispers with sincerity: "You are much more rational than I was. I was young and impulsive, I cannot control my hatred of Barry. And history has proven that my mission is determined to fail. " Eobard lifts his face from his hands, his eyes is all clear and calm. "At the moment that the history happened, I realized without Barry, there would be no me. This recognition drove me mad completely. I spilled out all my anger and frustration on innocent people, I murdered Barry's mother. "

The grey shadow is standing there with his head down, seemingly showing some remorse. Dr Wells feels sadness from him. He couldn't help being affected by his mood. "You see," the shadow looks at him, speaks quietly and sadly: "I was never truly capable of hurting Barry.”

The story had been deliberately said in a dull way, and that makes this revelation rather shocking.

Beginning with love, ending with hatred. The more fierce the hatred is, the stronger the love was. Harry starts wondering what happens between them. He has to admit that is a very intriguing question, but his mind finally finds it's way back to being sensible again. He is alert. He aware that Eobard is trying to manipulating him with his own sympathy. Dr. Wells asks, "What does this have to do with my daughter?"

Eobard smiles. "I have the technology to let you become the Reverse-Flash. I implore you to become the Reverse-Flash. By becoming a speedster, you and Barry can fight side by side to defeat Zoom- rescuing your daughter."

No. Barry has failed once, if Barry fails again... He may not be so lucky next time. Zoom _will_ kill Barry. His own life does not matter, it is a worthy death for saving Jesse. But he cannot risk Barry’s future and life again.

Dr. Wells does not speak, but his eyes and his face already tell the answer. Eobard keeps a good tempered smile on his face: “Any grand enterprise has set back. And we can never learn to fly without crashing a few times. Are you going to give up just after one failed attempt? Why?”

"Because I do not want to see him die in front of me!" Harry shouted venomously. "You keep saying that you care about Barry, but from what I see, you're more than willing to put him in danger!"

Eobard, obviously surprised by the words, loses the smile. "That is because I know him, I believe in him. He will stand up for the people who need him." When Eobard is not smiling, Dr Wells can see the similarity between them. He can see Eobard as a reflection of himself. “Now, I need _you_ to believe in him. I am asking you to be part of his team, to fight alongside him. ” Eobard does speak this from his heart. Harry can see that. This is one of the few things he's said so far that he truly means.

This really is not an easy decision to make... Especially not when he could still be affected by the emotion from Eobard. Dr. Wells considers the offer for a moment. He looks at Eobard, and concludes, "No, I'm not interested." He doesn't want to see the look in Barry’s eyes when he sees him in Reverse-Flash suit. Doesn't want to see the change, the horror and betrayal.

"What are you not interested in?" Suddenly the door slides open from behind, Barry’s wheelchair appears at the doorway. This is the first time after the failure that Harry and Barry face eachother alone.

Dr. Wells stares at Barry. He's silent for a while, until Barry wheels his way in. The door closes without making any noise. Barry stops in front of him, gives him a long and quiet look.

"I'm talking to myself." Wells realizes Barry is waiting for his answer. Harry waves a dismissive hand, "It’s nothing but a potential solution I am thinking about."

Barry chuckles, "How do you know about this room? You decide to take a look at the time vault that belonged to your evil twin before you go?"

Dr. Wells can’t explain the situation. Quickly he realises that Barry is just trying to make a conversation, not really expecting an answer. Instead of looking for an excuse, he simply asks: "I heard you guys talking. Is Gideon still here?"

Harry finds Eobard has vanished from where he was standing. 

There are only two of them in this room. 

"No, Gideon disappeared with that man." Barry moves the wheelchair to the end of the room, looks blankly at the empty wall. Dr. Wells guesses that must be part of the projection screen of Gideon. 

Good, Barry is not looking at him. That makes it much easier for what he is about to say.

"Listen, Barry." He hesitates for a moment, feeling awkward. He hears his voice breaks with dry words: "I can only imagine how bad you are feeling right now. You might be frustrated, depressed, you might think you have failed this city and blame yourself for it. "

His hands uselessly wave in the air. He feels helpless. If Eobard was here, he could have spoken these words in a more mild and touching way. Eobard would have known how to sooth Barry for his trauma. But now he can only speak from his heart and hope that would be enough to cheer Barry up: "But Barry, it wasn't your fault. It was my fault. I was too eager, rushed you in without a proper plan. I drove you into the current predicament. I ask your forgiveness. "

He sees Barry’s shoulders shaking, he can hear sobbing vaguely. Barry keeps his back to him all the time, not looking at him.

Dr. Wells does not step forward, because he wants to give this young man a little space. Barry seems to force himself to stop shaking, indicating he might be trying to control himself. Barry eventually manages to whisper: If I haven’t let you down, why are you leaving, Harry?"

"Because I cannot get you into such a dangerous situation again. Zoom is very dangerous. I need to find a way to beat him with one hundred percent chance. Before I find the solution, I can't risk you facing him again." With short moment of hesitation, Harry finally decides to step forward, and put his right palm on Barry's shoulder, taps several times. Barry does not look up, or look back. He grabs Dr. Wells’s hand with his own left hand, clenched.

Dr. Wells can feel the temperature and strength from the parts of his skin that are connecting with Barry. That makes him nervous. He doesn't like physical contact. Not even to comfort someone. He tries draw his hand back, but Barry has his palm pressed so hard against his own shoulder, he couldn't. 

The air in this room is tightening into a degree that starts making Dr. Wells even more uncomfortable. He struggles again, this time he manages to pull his hand away from Barry. He walks backward without speaking, sprinting out of the space that nearly suffocated him. 

The door closed behind him smoothly, leaving Barry to his thoughts. Alone.

He sees Eobard standing right outside of the door. He can read a look of disapproval on this man's expression, but he doesn't care. Dr. Wells ignores Eobard; in favour of walking on his own path to find his way home.


	3. Tess Morgan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Amber_Flicker，Bad Wolfe (BadWolfe) for betaing this work for me.

Chapt. 3 Tess Morgan  
The time between when Harry left STAR labs and Harry returning to STAR labs is much shorter than Harry would have ever expected. If he didn't know that nobody could have seen Eobard, he would have almost thought that was part of Eobards plan.

Grodd took Caitlin away, Harry had to interrupt his research and go back to STAR to help them locate her. Harry covers his face with his hand; he could not believe that he actually proposed this to Cisco: he could wear the Reverse-Flash suit to save Caitlin. Harry is a very sensible man, based on all the information and resources, pretending to be the father of Grodd, pretending to be Eobard is their best shot to win. Though he would feel much better now if this plan was not inspired by Eobard at all.

Very soon, he realises that Barry needs external stimulus. When a suitable stimulation occurs, such as Harry disguised as Reverse-Flash showing up in STAR labs, at the moment Barry spots Reverse-Flash, Barry would instantly be able to stop him, even still on crutches.

Hatred seems more powerful than love.

But it is love that drives one to overcome their fears.

Eobard was right, Barry’s attachment to the people he cares about is the key to his growth. At the last moment Barry recovered his speed and saved Harrison Wells from Farooq one years ago. This time,Barry may have never overcome his fear and saved Caitlin if he hadn't felt the need to protect her.

Harry stands there, and watches the whole fight. He watches Barry make his punch, his chest full of pride. At the same moment, he observes that Eobard turn towards to him, raises his eyebrow, reveals a meaningful smile. Eobards way of saying I told you so.

Harry thought he made the right decision to join into Barry’s team.

Until a bullet was shot into his chest.

It happens fast, as fast as a lightning bolt, but it happens as if it was a slow motion scene from an old movie. He hears the sound of something hitting the floor first. He loses balance. He kneels down, confused, watching Eobard run towards to him with a wide eyes. He does not quite understand what is happening until he is lying on the ground. He sees the bullet shells scattered on the floor. And that was the moment he realised he'd been shot.

Death has reached him before the pain does.

“We are losing him!” He could not hear the shouts from Caitlin. His body lies on the white bed, pale and stiff. Instruments are screaming around him. The room is a chaos, but he is unconscious.  
He will always remember the day that he proposed to Tess, and his last time saw Tess. The image, sounds, scents are tattooed in his brain. He remembers every single second. He can recall exactly how thing went.

That day, when he woke up, he could smell the brackish air, with a unique fishy scent from seawater. The sunshine generously bathed the entire beach. And in his room, every corner of the space was filled with the golden sunshine. The world was bright and full of hope.

That day was a sunny day. When he opened his eyes, he could smell the grass from their garden and a hint of the cedar wood from the forest nearby. It was a cold and clear.

It was their last day of vacation. He had never felt so nervous and awkward before. He stood beside the window, he could see Tess sitting on the beach enjoying her book. Her whole body was wrapped in the golden warm sunshine. She was radiant.

She was like a beam of light that lightened up his life. She was the one who showed him what the real life tastes like, what home felt like. She made him willing to slow down his pace and wish to explore this world further with her.

Harry took a deep breath. He took a basket of wine and olives to Tess. There was a velvet box underneath the breads.

“In the vast night sky, you, Harrison Wells, are the only star I see.” Her voice was full of joy and fondness. His heart started pounding. He heard the tide roar from the distance, he saw her hair dancing in the wind, he admired the brilliance of sunshine reflected from her eyes; the whole world suddenly slowed down, almost became static. Every single second was stretched into infinity. He did not how many moments passed until he finally found his voice: “Tess Morgan, will you marry me?”  
It was a rather normal Friday morning. Tess had left home before he got up, left him a thermal mug on the dinner table. There was a note underneath the mug with Tess’s hand writing on the note “see you around lunch time. ”

Harry reached for the cup, but it slipped from his fingers. Harry watched the mug falling, until the bottom hit the white flooring. The cap opened under impact, the black liquid splashed out, streaming. He stood there, looking down at the puddle. The liquid was so dark, with warmth, crawling on the white ceramic floor, like blood.

He was shocked by his imagination. Then Harry realised he should have done something. "Damn it.” He hurriedly moved from where he was standing, looking for a cloth to clean this mess up.  
Because of this trivial accident, he arrived at the lab later than he expected.

Until a phone call, "Harris, where are you?"

"I am in the lab." he put the call on speaker; his eyes were still fixed on the tool held by his hand. Suddenly, Harry realises- he missed something. "Oh, oh, Tess, our lunch….” he quickly glanced at the watch and said, "I should've been there a half hour ago, I am sorry, I’m leaving now.”

He heard the laughter through the phone. "I thought so; I am on the way to your lab now. We can have lunch together in your lab if you like.”

Harry stood by the door of the lab, watching Tess at the far end of the road. She wore a pale blue dress. She was so beautiful. Seeing her truly made Harry happy.

A sudden palpitations hit on Harry, he could'nt help but call her name. He waved. Tess saw Harry almost at the same time he saw her. She smiled and waved back.

And, this was when everything went horribly wrong.

Harry heard the roar of a motorbike, too loud to ignore. He turned his eyes away from Tess, looking for the cyclist. The bike was so fast, before he knew it it was closing in.

He heard a screech of brakes, the tires made a harsh scream on the ground. The rider jerked forward from his bike, lost control. Both the rider and bike flew straight out of the road.

His eyes followed the projector path of the motor bike. And-no. God no. He could see the familiar eyes of his wife, wide in fear.

“No!” All of the blood drained from his heart and flocked to his limbs, as he ran desperately towards  
Tess.

His world went still suddenly, he could only hear the pump of the blood from his heart. He managed to run 4 steps. Everything was in a slow motion. Tess was struck by the motorbike, she tilted and fell over, and she vanished from his sight. He remembered this so well, in the next couple of years, his mind kept rewinding this screen over and over again. He remembered the change in her expression. 

Smiles to horror to panic.

“No, no!” Harry heard himself screaming loudly. The clock starts ticking again. He ran to Tess ,kneeling down beside her. "Tess!" Harry tried to hold her head with his palm, shouting her name, trying to hold her in his arms. “Please, don’t do this, please, Tess…”

Tess had wide eyes, it was a confused look. It was too fast, she did not fully understand what had happened. She looked down her chest, coughed up some blood. Harry heard his heavy breathing, his heart pounding in his ears, but nothing else. He saw her open her lips but he could not hear any sounds.

More and more blood flowed from her mouth. The ground beneath her was red. Tess struggled smile at him. She looked at Harry, with love, with trust, with so many emotions in her eyes that Harry could only read afterwards from his memory. She smiled: “Stars, Harris, you are my star….”she exhaled her last breath. The whole world went quiet to Harry.

"Tess ..." He could not help but shake her desperately and helplessly, begging, trying to get some response from her. He looked into her eyes, he saw how they dimmed. He saw how her smile froze and faded away. Her blood converged into a little pond underneath his knee, he could feel his gradual loss of her warmth through her blood. Her blood eventually started draining his own warmth from his body. He never felt that cold before. She no longer flared with radiance, and so neither did he.

He heard an ambulance roaring, messy footsteps getting closer and closer.

His fingers removed from Tess’s hair, his lips were pulled away from her lips. Tess was taken away from his arms, into the ambulance.

He knew there were nothing they could do to help, he had lost Tess forever. The temporal pleasure had been peeled off from his soul, left a hollow void. Since then he indulged himself in science and technology, which was a cold and heartless world, offering him comfort for pilgrimage in science.  
He saw a bolt of lightening when he was walking his journey alone. The red yellow lightning was so bright, that whoever witnessed it could never forget.

He saw Tess was on the beach, smiling to him sweetly. He saw Tess down in a pool of her own blood.

He felts someone holding his hand, whispering softly in his ear: "Harry, wake up, do not leave me ......"

Another person's temperature and strength came from his hand; he saw a yellow lightning bolt strike from the sky, illuminating the dark abyss.

Like the last breath you would exhale before your death, he inhales a deep breath before he is conscious of his awakening. He opens his eyes.

"Dr. Wells." A woman is standing beside his hospital bed, smiling, "You'll be fine. Although it will hurt for a while."

He looks down at his bandages. Tess’s blood stained lips flash through his mind, he speaks softly: "Pain is better than dead."

Harry closes his eyes after he expresses his gratitude to Jay. He never felt so weak and helpless before. He got tired just after such a short conversation with Jay.

He falls asleep again, until he aware he is not alone in this room.

Harry opens his eyes, turns his head to one side, seeing Barry sitting on the wheel chair beside his bed. Barry seems exhausted, almost asleep too.

Barry detects Harry’s movement, and immediately perks up. "I didn’t mean to disturb your rest, Harry. I just want to see you. ”

“I will be fine.” Harry speaks quietly. The young man looks at him, then replies, ” You are doing really well, Harry. I don’t mean that your condition is worrying. But….” Barry looked at the floor, as if there is something really interesting down there, biting his lip. Before Harry loses his patience, Barry finally speaks, “but I was really freaked out when I heard."

Barry is avoiding Harry’s eyes: “Caitlin didn't tell me until it was over... When I rushed over here , the bullet had been removed already. Jay’s surgery was very successful and you should be fine, but you went into a coma. ”

“Oh. ” Harry was a bit surprised that Barry is discussing this with him, he does not know what to say: “I did not know…it was so bad.”

“The situation was'nt that complicated.” Barry stared at him, his expression is honesty and a bit demanding, Barry wants answers. "You seemed to just- lose desire to survive for a very short moment. ”

Harry does not engage the topic. He arches one eyebrow; defensive. The atmosphere between them become stiff again.

Barry knows that he should not have said that. He looks straight into Harry’s eyes again. "I was scared. I was scared, Harry. You have no idea what’s happening out there. I almost lost Oliver, Cisco and others. The whole of central city was nearly wiped out. I changed every…..”Barry buried his face in his hands, whispering:” I was so glad, I felt great until Caitlin called me. That something was wrong with you. I almost thought that was my punishment for changing the timeline…you keep telling me changing the timeline never goes better….you were unconscious, you hearts stopped once, Caitlin said we were losing you. I was so scared. Dr. Wells.”

Harry has no idea what on earth Barry is talking about. He could not think, it gave him terrible headaches. When he is sick, he is more vulnerable with other’s emotion. Now, Barry is a mess, his intense feeling doing nothing good for Harry. He just wants his rest.

Harry frowns, part of that is due to headache, part of that is due to confusion. He sighs, he has never felt either this tired or his weak before, not even... not even after that first conversation with jay. And that really bothers. "Barry….”

Barry is staring again, but Harry does not feel Barry is looking at him. Barry is muttering to himself: “I was afraid, I was afraid that you died in somewhere I don’t know, and I didn't even have the chance to say goodbye. I was scared Harry. ”

There was something wrong with Barry, and Harry is not willing to listen to him anymore, he is so tired, the wood on his chest is still aching. He lifted his hand and Barry stops. “Mr. Allen, you are still recovering from your battle. You should spend a restful night... if you don’t mind, I am very tired now. ”

Harry closes his eyes, without looking at Barry. He hears Barry pauses for a moment. Barry stands up from the wheelchair, walking towards the door quietly.

“Barry was terrified.” Another voice rises softly: “Barry was holding your hand when you were in coma. He was calling your name too. ”

Harrys frowns, showing Eobard that his words are heard, without make any further response.  
If he was not late that day, maybe everything would be different now....

If he was fast enough, he might still have Tess by his side.

He wishes he could have saved Tess, he wishes he had enough time to save Jesse.

When the adrenaline rushed into his body, the world went still, everything slowed down, it was a wonderful feeling.

When he heard Barry tell him how scared he was of losing him, he'd never wanted something so badly before. He wishes he has the capability to protect himself, at any cost. This awareness almost made him tremble with fear.

Harry sighs again. He will have a long and thorough conversation with Eobard after his recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comment is appreciated.  
> This is a quiet sad chapter I guess.
> 
>  
> 
> (Amber here. This chapter accidentally got posted before it was beta read. Thus all my edits and tweaks were done at 2 in the morning and on a tiny keyboard. I did my best, but i may have missed stuff. )


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